Sha Ren You Sha Fu
Sunday, February 21, 2010
; 10:03 PM
I'm the greatest fool in the whole wide world.
As quoted from Awaken: You're STOOPID!
Indeed, I'm such a silly and emotional gal...
Some of the owls would know that I've been truly devastated by the departure of some fam members, particularly my good friend toot. She never once told me the real reason for leaving the fam no matter how i probed and asked her. And just yesterday, May aka Sad helped to clear all the doubts and puzzles I had by her sudden quitting of the fam. So this is what she said: She felt unjust when she saw that the others were not helping to earn fps during fam channel time;amongst those were the Jrs. She felt that Jr should possess some kind of standard or whatever it is called so as to show good examples for the fam members. She was unhappy over this as she had been working hard to earn fps for the fam but was not given any credit or recognition. I was pretty upset upon hearing this and have no idea how to react at all. It would've been so much easier if she could just voice her opinions then not now. After giving this matter some thought, I would like to say a few things here. I'm not trying to imply anything here but it's pretty obvious that what had been mentioned above were flaws in our fam system. For this, I would like to emphasize that there're bound to be flaws in any of the systems as there's no absolute perfection in this world. I strongly believe that this fam should not work in a hierarchy manner; where Jr is just like any other member, they do not have absolute power over them except to assist in recruiting members. We do not simply flaunt our blue tag at others to announce to the whole world that we're 'higher' up than them (In my opinion, the Jrs are mainly there to reassure to members that the fam is active and help to strengthen the bonds of the members). So as one of the Jrs, you could imagine how insulted I felt when someone told you that you and the similar likes of you've not been doing your job well.
Thank you toot for showing me this: 'Actions speak louder than words'.
If you truly meant well for owls, you could have told us these problems earlier to help make the fam better. If you truly meant well for owls, you would have reacted differently rather than this as shown in the picture:
Thank you toot for showing me this: 'Actions speak louder than words'.
If you truly meant well for owls, you could have told us these problems earlier to help make the fam better. If you truly meant well for owls, you would have reacted differently rather than this as shown in the picture:
To think I'm foolish enough to pin some sort of hope that you might consider joining back owls.
To think I've been so emotional over this matter and make the fam members worry for me.
What were you doing then?
You were blissfully lying in the hands of your couple.
All I ever wanted for you was to come clean and honest with me.
Why couldn't you do that even?
You have to make me suffer to see your happiness.
You could've just told me: I would like to join my cpl's fam and I would understand...cos I understood very clearly what's 'fu chang fu sui'.
I would respect your decision. I really would.
But no, you did not say anything...
It's been so many days and I never hear from you since the day you left the fam.
And all of a sudden, you invited me to your Lp.
I felt glad that thing's have settled and we're finally talking to each other.
After the Lp, we go on our seperate ways.
All of a sudden, you asked me to join you for games.
Can you guess how overjoyed I am?
No, you could not imagine because I know you do not care for me at all.
Do you still remember what I say to you before you come in the room?
"I hope you could join back owls, toot"
Then you replied with ";x" and nothing more.
And could you even imagine how hurt I feel when you came in with gila's tag...
I was boiling mad.
Not angry at you but me.
I can't judge you for the kind of person you are.
It would have been too painful for me.
I'm the sha gua.
I'm just someone to chuck aside after you've found your Mr Right.
You never even asked why I did not speak to you the whole time we were playing...
Guess the message you brought forward is crystal clear to me now:
"The fam I wanted to join was not yours,
You're just a stepping stone to me.
Goodbye when I've found the right place for me to stay in"
You're just a stepping stone to me.
Goodbye when I've found the right place for me to stay in"
Still I would like to thank you for all the things you've done.
It's a precious lesson for me and I've yet to learn it well.
I believe the bonus I've gotten from your Lp is something as memorable as the lesson you've taught me.
Did I tell you that this is my first time getting bonus from Lp?
Sha ren you sha fu indeed.
To En and Toot: Of course, I would still want both of you to have happiness together and wish both of you could last long. The least I ever wanted to see was this...this mess...this hurt...this pain...this...I seriously do not know how to face you all anymore ><
Sorry.
Ps. Sorry Owls, this is such a long post but I feel that all of you have the right to know what is going on. Plox bear with me, I'm not such a long-winded person normally D:
*+*+After saying all these, I realise I can let go lerh. There's no more hurt but just wishes from the bottom of my heart. Hope you're truly happy where you're toot. I would still like to be your friend ;) +*+*
-Cloud.AngeL-
Stay Strong As Ones Owls
Stay Strong As Ones Owls
With love & hoots, ~NightOwls~.